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How can I become more confident and secure with myself?
I'm an introvert and often very quiet around people. A big part of the problem is that I'm not comfortable with who I am or what I look like and am afraid of being judged by others. Sometimes I can't even be myself in front of friends! It's like I have things that I want to say or do but am too afraid to say or do them. And of course, there's this guy I am friends with that I like... when I'm around him especially I clam up and never talk. He'll never be able to know the real me if I'm too shy or embarrassed to say anything! So what I am wondering, is how can I improve my confidence and not worry what others think of me? Basically, I want to get rid of my fear of being myself in front of others and be comfortable with the way I look and act at all times, no matter who I am around. It might be helpful to tell you that I think I would be unable to just pretend or fake confidence. What specific steps can I take to be more confident and secure so that I'm not afraid to be myself?
It's hard to go from being an introvert to an extrovert. But this is my advice to you:
You should be confident with who you are. If you feel that there are things about you that you don't like, then you can change that. I think maybe getting new clothes, or changing the style of your hair might boost your confidence in yourself.
I used to be somewhat like you - I am very extroverted now, but when I was younger, I always cared about what other people would think about me so I would try to act a certain way or do things that would make people like me more. Then I grew up. I had to realize that I could not let others judge me and I could not let others take over control of who I am. I have to be myself whether people like it or not. Of course now, I am more outspoken then I was before, more active and everyone likes me because I have my own opinions. I don't let anyone judge me or make me be someone I am not.
You can do that too. It takes a lot of courage. You should talk to some of your friends who you think might be good influences on you and have them help you out - I mean, they can be there for you when you need them.
You just have to learn that you can't let others thoughts about you get you down. You can't let anyone judge you and you certainly should not let others mold you into what they want you to become. One thing I feel I have learned is that society is never going to be pleased with you no matter what and we shouldn't care what society thinks about us. I know i don't care anymore.
It's going to be hard, but you can start somewhere. Get in front of the mirror every morning and tell yourself that you are going to be you and everyone is going to know the real you whether they like it or not. You will be surprised at the amount of confidence you will gain when you start doing that. Go out and pamper yourself, Don't worry about the world. You let the world come after you. Don't let the world make you go after it. I've done a LOT of embarassing things, even in front of my crushes, and believe me, one day I laugh at it. I don't care what they think. If they thought I was stupid then that's them and I can move on. Just talk to this guy....instead of clamming up, talk to him about something you both might have in common or bring up a question like, "so what do you do in your spare time" and then casually bring up conversations that could lead you or him to say "let's hang out". This way he can get to know you better too.
I hope this all helps you out. I wish you luck! It's not easy to get out of the introverted stage. Just do it one day at a time and you will get through this. Remember though, to smile and be happy. Know that you can be you and enjoy you with everyone else!
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